“No one breaks your heart more than you do by overthinking every little thing.”

Ever had a thought, idea that you absolutely obsessed over? You thought about it constantly, keeping you up at night, got super excited and created scenarios of how happy this will make you feel or how it may change your life? But for some reason it remains just a dream and you can’t get past making this happen for you. Those happy scenarios are soon replaced with doubt, worry, fear and regret and you end up talking yourself out of the very things you were excited about.

 Which brings me to the quote above. I could not tell you how many times overthinking has left me disappointed. I’ve missed out on opportunities, events, experiences and good deals because I’ve been paralyzed from fear of the unknown. I am not a risk taker by any means and admit to being a sore loser- but I want to protect myself. I can’t imagine having to rebuild or bounce back from an ill-decision, especially where I had total control. So, when I have these ideas or come across the perfect opportunities, I obsess about it and start my never-ending research on the subject. I wear out Google, scour social media and even consult a gazillion people until I literally talk myself out of it. Researching may be smart, but for an overthinker like me, this habit creates more stress and doesn’t usually provide any resolution.  

I recently read an article which asks if overthinking could be considered a mental illness. Although it may drive you and others around you crazy, it’s not an illness but can be a symptom of anxiety. Overthinking often leads to obsessive worrying, trouble concentrating and may leave you feeling on edge. You become caught up in the thinking loop and end up where you started- in most cases talking yourself out it or with more worry. The article suggests recognizing when you’re overthinking and do your bests to distract yourself until you can tackle the decision in a healthy way.

There are many ways to help cope with overthinking, but the following seem doable for me:

Writing down your pros and cons on paper make it concrete and keeps you from swirling. You have the facts in black and white which may hopefully help you move forward and make a decision.

Sharing your ideas or dilemmas with others will resist the urge to keep it inside and prevent you from swirling. But from personal experience, I caution to limit the people who you share with and make sure they don’t contribute to your overthinking. Also stick to talking to positive people 😊. You don’t need the negativity- you’re already self-sabotaging yourself, right?

Meditation and exercise are excellent ways to clear your mind and improve your mood. Whenever I’m struggling with a decision or just feel overwhelmed, I get active- go for a work, do a Peloton workout or just play with my dogs. My endorphins kick in and I’m instantly more relaxed and happier.   

Embrace your fear- this is a tough one. First off, fear is absolutely a natural and acceptable feeling. Some things will always be out of our control, but learning how to accept this will curb overthinking. Yeah, easier said than done, but look for small opportunities where you can confront the things you worry about head on. It doesn’t necessarily have to be related to your dilemma but may give you the courage to move forward without your thoughts being clouded with doubt. Beware- this will definitely take you out of your comfort zone.

Keep in mind, there is always a place for proper research and problem solving, but it should lead you to a sound resolution and not break your heart.